Mercy

Mercy

A majority of the time, I’m extremely hard on myself. Maybe it’s due to the lack of stability during my early childhood, or maybe past relationships. No matter what I’ve accomplished, or the leaps and bounds I’ve gone, this is what’s in my head.
I’m constantly telling myself:
“that’s not good enough”
“you are a nobody”
“Who do you think you are?!”
“You will never be successful”
“You will always be trash”
“What an amateur”
And this most likely stems from all the toxic relationships I’ve had in my life. I used to always place others above myself. Always seeking for approval. Always needing to be validated. But I’ve come to realize, that my journey is not to be compared to another’s. My life is not the same as my neighbor. So I need to stop comparing myself to others who have had a completely different journey.
I’ve come a LONG way. Yes, I opened my storefront a year ago. Yes, it is successful. And before that, I had been in wood working for a few years. Before that, I had put myself through massage school on my own. And before that I had escaped my ex with my two children and flew them transatlantic to get home to family and divorced my abusive ex. Before that, I was adopted at the age of 9 after being the system for a few years.
I’ve actually have accomplished more than enough. I do not need to be validated because I am unbelievably strong and resilient. I am wise and warm. I have an empathic heart. I am worthy. Worthy of love, recognition and praise